Technology for Country Folk

author unknown

Log on: Makin' a wood stove hotter.
Log off: Don't add no more wood.
Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin' the farwood off the truk.
Mega Hertz: When yer not kerful gettin' the farwood.
Floppy Disc: Watcha git from tryin' to carry too much farwood.
RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.

Hard Drive: Gettin' home in the winter time.
Prompt: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
Windows: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.
Screen: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.
Byte: Whut them dang flies do.
Chip: Munchies fer the TV.
Microchip: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
Modem: Whut cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrix's wife.
Laptop: Whar the kitty sleeps.
Keyboard: Whar ya hang the dang keys.
Software: Them dang plastic forks and knifs.
Mouse: Whut eats the grain in the barn.
Mainframe: Holds up the barn roof.
Port: Fancy Flatlander wine.
Enter: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in, ya'll."
Random Access Memory: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle wen yore wife asks.
Mouse Pad: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
Web Site: Whar the spiders are..
Internet: Ketchin' fish without a pole.

September 2005