The Computer Expert's Glossary

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Bug	An elusive creature living in a program that makes it incorrect. The activity of "debugging," or removing bugs from a program, ends when people get tired of doing it, not when the bugs are removed.
Design	What you regret not doing later on.
Hardware	The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
Information Center	A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
Meeting	An assembly of computer experts coming together to decide what person or department not represented in the room must solve the problem.
Minicomputer	A computer that can be afforded on the budget of a mid-level manager.
On-line	The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.
Performance	A statement of the speed at which a computer system works. Or rather, might work under certain circumstances. Or was rumored to be working a month ago.
Quality control	Assuring that the quality of a product does not get out of hand and add to the cost of its manufacture or design.
Regression analysis	Mathematical techniques for trying to understand why things are getting worse.
Strategy	A long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until sometime after those creating it have left the organization.

August 2004