What to do With All Those AOL Disks

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The ITS Connection Online Newsletter

As everyone with (or related to, or nearby) a computer knows, AOL has spent the last several years sending out "free hours" floppy disks and CDs. They come with magazines, they come by themselves, they are, literally, everywhere. Therefore we have prepared a few suggestions for things to do with your disk collection:

  • Collect two solar masses worth and detonate the sun.
  • Activate all the floppy disks one at a time. For each disk you activate, download enough files to fill up the reformatted activation disk. Don't stop until you have downloaded all data AOL has to offer. Use your remaining unactivated disks for backing up the downloaded data.
  • Get 1,000 people to all activate all of their disks at the same time. Monitor trade journals to see which disk storage manufacturer gets AOL's order for new multi-terabyte drive to hold subscriber data base.
  • Tile your bathroom with your collection. Submit picture of bathroom to GQ (Geek Quarterly) magazine.
  • Donate disks to charity. Tell IRS that each disk contains $10 worth of software. Use resulting deductions to buy Liechtenstein.
  • Call the FBI and tell them that these disks are made from refined uranium and homes across the country will begin exploding as soon as they reach critical mass.
  • Erase all the floppy disks, put new labels on them and resell them as new. Retire at age 43.

January 2000

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